Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
