I never want to see another naked old woman again.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
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Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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