My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
True strength comes from lack of pants
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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