I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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