Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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