do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
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Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
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I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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