i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
