I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
