im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
