it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
