If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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