I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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