I wanna passion pit in your ass
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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