I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize