Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
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