Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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