Fuck appropriateness.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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