It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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