I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
So vagazzling was a success
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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