I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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