I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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