I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
