quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
