Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
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