What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
