Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The adults are the big ones right?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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