I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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