I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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