I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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