her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
