She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
