apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
