To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
