I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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