what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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