i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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