they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
