Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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