How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
