Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
