Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
