There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
