Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
