Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
