So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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