remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
