whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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