he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
