Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
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