he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
