the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I queefed so loud it echoed.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
