I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
