There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
