I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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