Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Pants are for mortals
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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